The Art of Creating a Party

I've been told that I always have fun parties. That does sound egotistic, but I have to agree. I enjoy planning and preparing for parties and special occasions almost as much as partaking in them. But a good party is not happenstance. Whether it is a small get-together, to a large celebration, any social gathering with live human beings must be carefully planned and arranged. And once the party starts, the organic matter must be monitored and helped. Without guidance and thought, a group of people is just a group of people, it is the host that turns a group of lifeless individuals into a gay gathering to be remembered with fond memories by those who attended.

Unfortunately, most party books that I have read are stupid. They give you generic advise (or overly specific) that will leave you stumbling around chaos that you created with your invitations. They are also very long and boring to read. They also leave you very little room for a creative budget or allow for cultural diversity. The advise you are about to receive will be concise, memorable, and applicable to any gathering that involves any amount of people.  

Theme and Vision Every party starts with a vision. What do you want your gathering to look like? Do you imagine people coming and going, or all coming at once and staying for a set amount of time? How will the group move? Will there be different people to talk to, and activities to enjoy? What will be your center of entertainment (a meal, finger foods, dessert, drinks, games, talking?), what are you side activities? Do you want everyone to be relaxed, or more formal feeling? Once you have an idea of what you want your group of people to look like, then you can move on to the next stage.  

Guests This is the most important part about your party. Your goal is to be able to exchange a few words with each person there, and then they will be self sufficient. This can't be the case if they don't know anyone there, and don't expect them to just make friends on their own. Nothing sucks more than being at a party and not knowing anyone. Well, one thing does: being a host that has to babysit every single guest. When you create your guest list, every person should know at least two people, and those two people should know someone other than that group of three. If they don't, you should either invite more people, or don't include them. If there is someone that you really want to invite, but don't have any mutual friends with that person, you should have a small party (4 or less people) where you can spend time with them, and also introduce them into your group of friends. Only then would you want to invite them to a larger gathering.

Invitations Before you send our any hard copy, you should verbally invite a core group of friends and make sure they can attend your gathering. If it seems like you are going to have a skeleton group, you may want to change the date. Once a hard invitation is sent out, it is hard to undo it.  If you make your invitation electronic (tx, fb, e-mail) you should make sure you verbally confirm with a majority of your guests that they are attending. 

Food and Drink Food and drinks can ruin a perfectly set-up gathering. When people leave their homes (or even the streets) they are at your mercy as a host to meet their needs for hunger and thirst. When planning a party, you should plan your food like you would for a 5 year-old. Without popper nourishment they get cranky; with too much sugar, they get cranky; if the food doesn't taste good, they won't eat it, and they get cranky; if they aren't told to eat, they don't and they get cranky; if they eat too much junk food, they get a tummy ache, and they get cranky. You get the picture. But it is true for a party too. If everything you put out is oily, processed and sugary, you can expect your guests to get a sugar-high, then a low, and then feel sick from all the crap they just ate. And if not at your party, then the next day.

My general rule for food food is the following:
-Only 1 or 2 sweet items (and that includes drinks)
-At least one item with protein
-At least 2 items that are carb based
-At least 1 item that is dairy based
-At least 1 item that a raw plant (fruit or veggie)

Food is one of the expensive items of the party, and if you want to keep your party on a low budget, you could ask people to bring items. One note-- potlucks are vulgar. They are a mishmash of random foods, salads, low quality pizza, KFC chicken, and my list continues. Nothing complements anything, and everything is brought in gluttonish portions.  A great alternative is either a themed potluck (everyone bring something that has to do with Italian, Mexican, Sushi, BBQ, the list goes on), or you can just do finger foods and ask people to bring an item off a list (My list usually contains, bock of cheese, crackers, meatballs, mini sausages, fruit, wine, or apple juice). With either way, be sure to have a core of food, and use what guests bring to supplement what you have. I always ask guests to either bring their items in their original packages, or in a Ziploc bag, and then I have empty plates ready for their additions.


Furniture Your normal house setup is probably not conducive to active party. Your furniture should allow for several people to sit and chat comfortably with some privacy, but also so that other people can come and go from the conversation at hand.  You also want to arrange it so that people can easily move from one room to another (and outdoors and indoors if that is where the flow should be). There should be enough seating for everyone, and if not, then there should be activities where standing is required (dancing, croquet, etc.)

Activities It is always fun to have activities at your parties to keep your guests from forming cliques and killing the atmosphere of the evening. If you are having a full meal, then it can function as the activity. You can also use food preparation as something for your guest to do. One of my favorites is to have my guests make grilled-personal pizzas (I had several stations set up including rolling dough, picking toppings, and then getting the pizza grilled). It takes a little more planning, but can be a great way to keep guests moving around and talking to new people.

Games are always another great way to keep a party alive. One of the tricks to getting a game to be fun is to have a core group of people who have played before. If you need to, test run a game with a few core friends before the party (and be sure they also show up to the party!). If people try to sit out a round don't let them! Tell them to be lost, and have fun. Nothing kills game worse than people not participating and trying to copout. The only plus side to people not playing your game is they may go try to clean your kitchen, if that is the case, let them. This will be much appreciated the next morning when you have a ton of work to do!

Other fun activities:
-Dancing (be sure people know how)
-Fire circle
-Cocktails and Mocktails
-Photo booths (just a place with fun backdrop and props for phone photos)

Game Ideas
-Croquet
-Cards
-Mafia
-Pictionary
-Murder Mystery

Decoration  Nothing says party like lights! If you did nothing else, get string lights or Chinese lanterns to put up! Other nice touches are themed decorations, flowers, balloons and streamers.

Music Music can set the mood for a party just as well as decorations and food. If you are theming your party, try to get music to match. With all music it should add to the party-- not kill it! People should be able to talk in a normal voice. If you can't turn it down, or turn it off.

Managing the Party   Your job as a host is to have fun! Most of your prep should be before the party, so you can enjoy your evening. Ask a few out-going friends to come early to set the mood. If you can have a core group that is in the know for all your activities you can sit back and enjoy instead of spending the night babysitting everyone. Be sure that food is being eaten, music is playing, drinks created, lights on-- and enjoy!

Also, be sure to have the entranced marked. Nothing is more sad than guests leaving because no one heard the doorbell, and they couldn't find the gate. Signs, balloons, and lights help.

Be sure to keep an eye on your phone for the poor lost guest who is wandering hopelessly in your neighborhood.